Mystery Man

December 20, 2012 by

Mystery Man


King Says, Benji Says (Super Bowl Edition)

February 6, 2010 by

Who Dat?

Just Kidding!

We (myself, Brian and His Majesty) are all taking the Colts…

King Says, Benji Says (Conference Championship Round)

January 24, 2010 by

Okay, no more messing around. You know I mean business when I start breaking out the James Van Der Beek pictures! With two rounds to go, I trail His Majesty by one pick and I fully intend to pull out another playoff comeback against his Royal Doofusness…

Last Week:

Peter King: 2-2

Brian: 1-3

Benji: 2-2


Peter King: 4-4

Benji: 3-5

Brian: 2-6

New York Jets (11-7) at Indianapolis Colts (15-2)

King Says: Colts

Benji Says: Colts

Brian Says: Jets

Minnesota Vikings (13-4) at New Orleans Saints (14-3)

King Says: Saints

Benji Says: Vikings

Brian Says: Saints

King Says, Benji Says: Divisional Round

January 16, 2010 by

Let’s keep this short and sweet, like a…(the above picture fills in the blank)

Last Week:

Peter King: 2-2

Brian: 1-3

Benji: 1-3

Arizona Cardinals (11-6) at New Orleans Saints (13-3)

King Says: Saints

Benji Says: Cardinals

Brian Says: Saints

Baltimore Ravens (10-7) at Indianapolis Colts (14-2)

King Says: Colts

Benji Says: Colts

Brian Says: Ravens

Dallas Cowboys (12-5) at Minnesota Vikings (12-4)

King Says: Cowboys

Benji Says: Vikings

Brian Says: Cowboys

New York Jets (10-7) at San Diego Chargers (13-3)

King Says: Chargers

Benji Says: Chargers

Brian Says: Chargers

Hall of Shame?

January 12, 2010 by

In this week’s Monday Morning Quarterback, King has truly outdone even his unique propensity for producing self-eating logic:

“Now some words about the quarterback [Kurt Warner] who is singlehandedly forcing me, one of the 44 Pro Football Hall of Fame voters, to act like the five-year donut hole in the middle of his career is a crack in the sidewalk and not the Grand Canyon. I don’t like to judge active players for the Hall, and I won’t.

After reading that section (and as I continued to read), I thought to myself, “well, besides defeating his own logic within the same paragraph, I bet all I have to do is wait a few weeks for him to write an article about a current player he thinks is deserving of getting into the Hall and”–oh wait, at the bottom of the SAME PAGE he makes the following declaration while discussing this year’s MVP voting:

As for [Chris] Johnson, it’s simple. We have one vote. He might be a close second, but unless you judge Johnson, a runner on an 8-8 team, to be more valuable than Manning, who had his second-best season of a walk-in Hall of Fame career for a 14-2 team. . .”

So let me get this straight–in half a page, King goes from claiming not to discuss current players’ Hall of Fame credentials to calling a player a “walk-in” Hall of Famer? So basically he’s saying that it’s okay to contradict yourself in your writing…so long as your contradictions support another argument that you want to make?

Did Somebody Have an Accident?

January 12, 2010 by

Brady peed himself?

Guess the Ravens really do knock the “piss” out of people…

King Says, Benji Says (Wildcard Weekend)

January 9, 2010 by

Not only did I not make a last-second comeback in the final week of the picking regular season, His Majesty actually added to his lead. Despite successfully predicting the outcome of 12 out of the 16 games, His Majesty did me three better, with his lone incorrect pick being Denver over Kansas City. Believe me, as you can see above, The King is feeling pretty good about himself at the moment. Well, he can talk as much smack as he wants–he defeated me handily in the regular season last year too, only to lose in the playoffs. As the old saying goes: those who do not remember past pigskin picking mistakes are doomed to repeat them…

Final Regular Season Standings:

Peter King (179-77)

Benji (170-86)

Brian (150-106) (Editor’s Note: Brian inexplicably forgot to make his picks last week)

Wild Card Round:

New York Jets (9-7) at Cincinnati Bengals (10-6)

King Says: Jets

Benji Says: Bengals

Brian Says: Bengals

Philadelphia Eagles (11-5) at Dallas Cowboys (11-5)

King Says: Cowboys

Benji Says: Eagles

Brian Says: Eagles

Green Bay Packers (11-5) at Arizona Cardinals (10-6)

King Says: Packers

Benji Says: Cardinals

Brian Says: Packers

Baltimore Ravens (9-7) at New England Patriots (10-6)

King Says: Patriots

Benji Says: Patriots

Brian Says: Ravens

King Says, Benji Says (2010 Garbage Time Edition)

January 3, 2010 by

Hey there, everyone. As you can probably guess from the photo, His Majesty and I had an interesting time ringing in the new decade. It finally occurred to us this morning that we still needed to make our picks for the final week of the NFL regular season…

Last Week:

Peter King (11-5)

Benji (7-9)

Brian (9-7)


Peter King (164-76)

Benji (158-82)

Brian (150-90)

Games we agree on:

49ers over Rams

Steelers over Dolphins

Bills over Colts

Texans over Patriots

Jets over Bengals

Bears over Lions

Vikings over Giants

Falcons over Buccaneers

Ravens over Raiders

Titans over Seahawks

Games we disagree on:

Jacksonville Jaguars (7-8) at Cleveland Browns (4-11)

King Says:

In the past three weeks, Cleveland has won three games; Minnesota and New Orleans have combined to win two. And I still think the odds are against Eric Mangini keeping his job when he pow-wows with Mike Holmgren early next week.

Prediction: Cleveland Browns 26, Jacksonville Jaguars 20

Benji Says:

No team with Derek Anderson as its starting quarterback can possibly be good enough to win four games in a row…

Prediction: Jacksonville Jaguars 24, Cleveland Browns 16

Philadelphia Eagles (11-4) at Dallas Cowboys (10-5)

King Says:

Game-of-the-year type game, and somehow I see a Miles Austin-DeSean Jackson duel in Arlington. I love this game. Both teams will enter the postseason playing better than the Vikes and Saints.

Prediction: Dallas Cowboys 24, Philadelphia Eagles 23

Benji Says:

While the Cowboys are definitely an above average team, I think that the Eagles are in a class above them. Of course, Philly also lost to Oakland earlier this year, so what do I know?

Prediction: Philadelphia Eagles 30, Dallas Cowboys 23

New Orleans Saints (13-2) at Carolina Panthers (7-8)

King Says:

I want to see the Saints turn it around. I really do. It’d be good for football, good for the postseason. But did you see the Panthers last week? No matter who runs the ball for this team, they’re a powerhouse right now, and they’ll play that way even though they’ve got nothing on the line. That’s the way they’ve been brought up in the John Fox system.

Prediction: Carolina Panthers 23, New Orleans Saints 20

Benji Says:

I don’t have a whole lot of logic to back this pick up with except for this fact: with Steve Smith out, the Panthers have no one to throw the ball to down the field. Maybe it won’t matter against backup quarterback Mark Brunell and with the way that Jonathan Stewart has been running the ball the past few weeks, but I’m skeptical…

Prediction: New Orleans Saints 20, Carolina Panthers 16

Kansas City Chiefs (3-12) at Denver Broncos (8-7)

King Says:

I think the football world is being a little too harsh on the Broncos. If they win this game, they finish 9-7. Think of it if you’re a Broncos fan: You’d have taken a 7-9 season and been delirious. So be happy with 9-7 and playoffless.

Prediction: Denver Broncos 23, Kansas City Chiefs 13

Benji Says:

The Broncos are missing their top three receivers for this game. The Chiefs have also played much better down the stretch.

Prediction: Kansas City Chiefs 17, Denver Broncos 13

Green Bay Packers (10-5) at Arizona Cardinals (10-5)

King Says:

Packers are in with a win or loss, but they’d better do something about the penalties for the playoffs: They’re first in the league in accepted penalties (114, for 1,038 yards).

Prediction: Green Bay Packers 31, Arizona Cardinals 23

Benji Says:

I trust this Packers team about as far as I could throw the whole lot of them–which is not very far, because that would be a lot of combined weight. My reasoning for this pick, however, has nothing to do with my thoughts on either team’s starting string players–I just think that the Cardinals have better backups.

Prediction: Arizona Cardinals 26, Green Bay Packers 19

King Says, Benji Says (Week 16)

December 27, 2009 by

How about this for a late stocking stuffer? His Majesty and I, due to a series of food and spiked eggnog-related incidents, ran short of time this weekend. Thus, you have far less to read this week! Give your eyes and brain a much-needed rest and grab an adult beverage of your choice. The holidays only come once a year, after all…

Last Week:

Peter King (10-6)

Benji (9-7)

Brian (7-9)


Peter King (153-71)

Benji (151-73)

Brian (141-84)

Games we disagree on:

Oakland Raiders (5-9) at Cleveland Browns (3-11)

King Says:

I give Derek Anderson the edge between backup quarterbacks in the Bad Teams Having Good Decembers Bowl.

Prediction: Cleveland Browns 26, Oakland Raiders 23

Benji Says:

What exactly has Derek Anderson done so far this season that leads you to believe he is a benefit to his team? I guess it must have been that win that he led the Browns to against the Bills when he masterfully completed 2 of 17 passing attempts. I guess anything could happen in this game, but at least the Raiders have some semblance of a defense…

Prediction: Oakland Raiders 17, Cleveland Browns 13

Baltimore Ravens (8-6) at Pittsburgh Steelers (7-7)

King Says:

I’m just following recent history. The last four games in this series have been decided by 3, 4, 6, and 9 points. This is a playoff game for both teams, and no two teams in the NFL hate each other as much as these two. I expect the most physical game of the weekend.

Prediction: Pittsburgh Steelers 17, Baltimore Ravens 16

Benji Says:

Thanks for the history lesson, Your Majesty, because it reminded me of something–I felt very strongly last season that these two teams were evenly matched and the Steelers won all three very close games in the series. How many times can two equal teams play each other (I’m discounting the Ravens’ win earlier this season when Big Ben was out) before the coin comes up tails instead of heads? I’m also not convinced that the Steelers’ defense is capable of containing Baltimore’s star running back, Ray Rice…

Prediction: Baltimore Ravens 28, Pittsburgh Steelers 24

Buffalo Bills (5-9) at Atlanta Falcons (7-7)

King Says:

Bills have franchise-record 18 players on injured-reserve. I wouldn’t be surprised if ace Bills PR man Scott Berchtold puts out this press release sometime this weekend: “Entire Bills Roster Placed On IR; Toronto Argonauts Roster Signed For Final Two Weeks.”

Prediction: Atlanta Falcons 30, Buffalo Bills 13

Benji Says:

I may regret this pick, but I just can’t bring myself to go with the Falcons after seeing what their secondary is (in)capable of. The Bills, if nothing else, have a couple of deep threat receivers in Terrell Owens and Lee Evans. The Falcons are just a mess right now on offense and defense…

Prediction: Buffalo Bills 23, Atlanta Falcons 16

As for the rest of the games:

King and Benji Say:

Patriots over Jaguars

Bengals over Chiefs

Dolphins over Texans

Packers over Seahawks

Giants over Panthers

Saints over Buccaneers

49ers over Lions

Cardinals over Rams

Colts over Jets

Eagles over Broncos

Cowboys over Redskins

Vikings over Bears

King Says, Benji Says (Christmas Edition)

December 24, 2009 by

Ho, Ho, Ho–Merry Christmas, everyone! His Majesty and I are appropriately dressed for the occasion. Heed our words of “wisdom” lest you end up with a lump of coal in your stocking tomorrow morning. Without further ado, here are our thoughts on the Christmas Day game…

San Diego Chargers (11-3) at Tennessee Titans (7-7)

King Says:

It’s probably too late for Philip Rivers to wrest the 2009 MVP away from Peyton Manning, but he’s going to do his darndest to try, starting with a drive inside the two-minute warning to win this one.

Prediction: San Diego Chargers 24, Tennessee Titans 22

Benji Says:

San Diego quarterback Philip Rivers has been one of the top quarterbacks in the league this season, but I worry about his defense, especially against the Titans, a team tailor-made to beat the Chargers. Tennessee running back Chris Johnson has a shot at breaking the all-time single season rushing record and the Chargers are allowing 4.4 yards per carry. And, for what it’s worth, the Titans need this game far more than the Chargers do…

Prediction: Tennessee Titans 28, San Diego Chargers 24