Archive for the ‘Brian’ Category

King Says, Benji Says (Conference Championship Round)

January 24, 2010

Okay, no more messing around. You know I mean business when I start breaking out the James Van Der Beek pictures! With two rounds to go, I trail His Majesty by one pick and I fully intend to pull out another playoff comeback against his Royal Doofusness…

Last Week:

Peter King: 2-2

Brian: 1-3

Benji: 2-2


Peter King: 4-4

Benji: 3-5

Brian: 2-6

New York Jets (11-7) at Indianapolis Colts (15-2)

King Says: Colts

Benji Says: Colts

Brian Says: Jets

Minnesota Vikings (13-4) at New Orleans Saints (14-3)

King Says: Saints

Benji Says: Vikings

Brian Says: Saints


King Says, Benji Says: Divisional Round

January 16, 2010

Let’s keep this short and sweet, like a…(the above picture fills in the blank)

Last Week:

Peter King: 2-2

Brian: 1-3

Benji: 1-3

Arizona Cardinals (11-6) at New Orleans Saints (13-3)

King Says: Saints

Benji Says: Cardinals

Brian Says: Saints

Baltimore Ravens (10-7) at Indianapolis Colts (14-2)

King Says: Colts

Benji Says: Colts

Brian Says: Ravens

Dallas Cowboys (12-5) at Minnesota Vikings (12-4)

King Says: Cowboys

Benji Says: Vikings

Brian Says: Cowboys

New York Jets (10-7) at San Diego Chargers (13-3)

King Says: Chargers

Benji Says: Chargers

Brian Says: Chargers

Hall of Shame?

January 12, 2010

In this week’s Monday Morning Quarterback, King has truly outdone even his unique propensity for producing self-eating logic:

“Now some words about the quarterback [Kurt Warner] who is singlehandedly forcing me, one of the 44 Pro Football Hall of Fame voters, to act like the five-year donut hole in the middle of his career is a crack in the sidewalk and not the Grand Canyon. I don’t like to judge active players for the Hall, and I won’t.

After reading that section (and as I continued to read), I thought to myself, “well, besides defeating his own logic within the same paragraph, I bet all I have to do is wait a few weeks for him to write an article about a current player he thinks is deserving of getting into the Hall and”–oh wait, at the bottom of the SAME PAGE he makes the following declaration while discussing this year’s MVP voting:

As for [Chris] Johnson, it’s simple. We have one vote. He might be a close second, but unless you judge Johnson, a runner on an 8-8 team, to be more valuable than Manning, who had his second-best season of a walk-in Hall of Fame career for a 14-2 team. . .”

So let me get this straight–in half a page, King goes from claiming not to discuss current players’ Hall of Fame credentials to calling a player a “walk-in” Hall of Famer? So basically he’s saying that it’s okay to contradict yourself in your writing…so long as your contradictions support another argument that you want to make?

Did Somebody Have an Accident?

January 12, 2010

Brady peed himself?

Guess the Ravens really do knock the “piss” out of people…

King Says, Benji Says (Wildcard Weekend)

January 9, 2010

Not only did I not make a last-second comeback in the final week of the picking regular season, His Majesty actually added to his lead. Despite successfully predicting the outcome of 12 out of the 16 games, His Majesty did me three better, with his lone incorrect pick being Denver over Kansas City. Believe me, as you can see above, The King is feeling pretty good about himself at the moment. Well, he can talk as much smack as he wants–he defeated me handily in the regular season last year too, only to lose in the playoffs. As the old saying goes: those who do not remember past pigskin picking mistakes are doomed to repeat them…

Final Regular Season Standings:

Peter King (179-77)

Benji (170-86)

Brian (150-106) (Editor’s Note: Brian inexplicably forgot to make his picks last week)

Wild Card Round:

New York Jets (9-7) at Cincinnati Bengals (10-6)

King Says: Jets

Benji Says: Bengals

Brian Says: Bengals

Philadelphia Eagles (11-5) at Dallas Cowboys (11-5)

King Says: Cowboys

Benji Says: Eagles

Brian Says: Eagles

Green Bay Packers (11-5) at Arizona Cardinals (10-6)

King Says: Packers

Benji Says: Cardinals

Brian Says: Packers

Baltimore Ravens (9-7) at New England Patriots (10-6)

King Says: Patriots

Benji Says: Patriots

Brian Says: Ravens

Not Without My Tight End!

November 22, 2009

Peter King let out another one (so to speak). Check out this gem from this week’s Monday Morning Quarterback:

When we talk about the great tight ends, we too often forget Antonio Gates.

Now I’m not sure whom King is referring to, because I sure have not forgotten that Antonio Gates is a good tight end. He has made the Pro Bowl five straight times; he is a two time All-Pro tight end; and, since 2004, only Marvin Harrison, Randy Moss, and Terrell Owens (all wide receivers) have more receiving touchdowns. I’m pretty sure everyone I know is well aware that Gates is one of the league’s premiere tight ends and has been for quite some time. Furthermore, he is owned in 100 percent of ESPN’s fantasy football leagues and is consistently one of the first tight ends drafted. Writers and fans alike are well aware of this “under the radar” star. But of course Peter King forgets to mention him when writing about the great tight ends…or does he? Here’s what King had to say TWO WEEKS AGO:

f. Owen Daniels tearing his ACL is such a shame. He was battling Dallas Clark and Antonio Gates for top tight end in the AFC. Houston will miss him. Matt Schaub trusted him to run perfect routes.

I guess King forgot that he didn’t forget to include Gates in the “great tight end” discussion. Man, I wish I could not forget to forget King…

Bartender, I’ll take a Tom errrr Kerry Collins…

October 6, 2009


Peter King, self-proclaimed vodka drinker (read his Twitter page) and unofficial monarch of doofusness, had a curiously alcoholic-sounding tidbit in today’s column. In reference to Tennessee quarterback Kerry Collins, King writes: “…Collins has been more productive (51 more passing yards per game) and just as accurate as he was a year ago.” Originally the statement said Collins was “more effective,” but it appears to have been edited because…it was a ridiculous statement! Apparently King doesn’t understand how passing statistics work. It goes without saying that Collins would have more passing yards so far this season, not because he is more “effective,” but because his team has been trailing in every game; thus, instead of feeding the ball to running backs Lendale White and Chris Johnson, he’s been throwing the ball downfield. Collins has not been more effective–in fact, his yards-per-attempt average is down from 6.4 to 6.0, his completion percentage is down from 58.3 percent to 56.9 percent, and his touchdown to interception ratio is down from almost 2:1 (12:7) to less than 1:1 (5:6). Clearly Collins is not playing as well as he did last year, and he’s being forced to throw the ball more, leading to inflated passing-yard totals. King, I love how you edit yourself out of your silly statements before I can even get home from work! You’re taking away all of the fun for Benji and I…(Editor’s note: Or just digging yourself a deeper hole…)

Brian Makes His Picks and Vegas Looks on…

September 8, 2009


Well, as promised, here goes with my predictions for this year. Before I begin, let me give you my three rules (more like guidelines really) for predicting an NFL season.

1) Every year, there are a handful of teams that make the playoffs that didn’t make it the year before.

2) One of those teams will come out of nowhere (i.e. the Falcons last year)

3) Some teams that looked like they were emerging last year will drop off this season because they have a tougher schedule.

NFC Predictions:

NFC West:

Seattle (Division Winner) lost a bunch of games to injuries, which is unlikely to happen again. The Seahawks also acquired T.J. Who’syourmama to give Hasselbeck a decent target. I think they take the division.

Arizona is a streaky team that got lucky right in time for the playoffs. I watched the 49ers hang with the Cards in two games, so I was never that impressed with them.

I believe San Francisco is still a few years away. The 49ers didn’t do much to help their offense—they still have Shaun Hill at QB and Crabtree is going to be “T.O.-lite.”

St. Louis is still another year or two away from putting it all together.

NFC East:

I think this could be Washington’s (Division Winner) year—no science behind it, I just like the Redskins here.

I always think Philadelphia’s (Wildcard) going to do well.

I think the New York Giants will struggle while they try to figure out what to do. For some reason I think Manning will be okay—it’ll be the defense that holds them back.

As for Dallas, Romo can’t quite get it done, no matter who his new girlfriend is.

NFC North:

In King’s pick for the best division in the NFL, I think Green Bay (Division Winner), led by Rodgers, will have a great year.

Chicago (Wildcard) will have a very good year, but will only make the wildcard.

Minnesota will start off hot and fail down the stretch.

As for Detroit? I think the Lions will be bad…

NFC South:

I think Carolina (Division Winner) takes the division. The Panthers always seem to bounce back.

Atlanta will not make the playoffs

New Orleans will not make the playoffs either.

And Tampa Bay will finish last. I mean the Buccaneers don’t even have a quarterback.

AFC Predictions:

AFC West:

I’ll also go with the trendy pick, San Diego (Division Winner), but I’m a little concerned about Merriman doing his “Lights Out” after a night of Tequila.

Denver will be the second best team. I am just throwing it out there…

Kansas City will be third.

Oakland will be 10,535th.

AFC East:

New England (Division Winner) will win the division. I hate writing that…

Miami will place second.

The New York Jets will be third, but Sanchez will be dirty.

As for Buffalo— the T.O. Show will be the only exciting thing to come out of this team.

AFC South:

I’m taking Indianapolis (Division Winner), because the Colts will always be better than everyone else.

Houston (Wildcard) will have a good year, finally, because that’s what every other pundit says. I do not disagree.

Jacksonville will begin to recover from injuries and crappy wide receiver syndrome.

Tennessee will…start Vince Young this year.

AFC North:

Pittsburgh (Division Winner) will win the division.

Baltimore (Wildcard) will sneak into the playoffs. The Ravens seem like a team that could put it all together if they can make it in…

Cincinnati will have a decent year, but wont break .500.

Cleveland will stink.

Playoff Predictions:



Philadelphia over Chicago

Washington over Seattle

Divisional Round:

Washington over Philadelphia

Green Bay over Chicago

Championship Round:

Green Bay over Washington



Houston over New England

Baltimore over Miami

Divisional Round:

Baltimore over Pittsburgh

San Diego over Houston

Championship Round:

Baltimore over San Diego

Super Bowl Pick:

Baltimore over Green Bay

Welcome BAAAACK!

September 4, 2009


Before we jump right into it with Benji’s and my predictions for the upcoming season, let’s first tackle a question posted by one of our readers in regard to King’s preseason Super Bowl picks.

Eric writes:

After just hearing on PTI King’s absurd prediction that the Chicago Bears will be in the Super Bowl this year, I was wondering, just what is his record of preseason predictions for the Super Bowl? I wouldn’t be surprised if he had never correctly predicted a team.

I headed to the vault and tracked down King’s preseason picks for the past five seasons: (Note that the year marks when King made his picks. Thus, his 2008 prediction was for the 2009 Super Bowl and so on…)


King: Patriots over Cowboys

Actual: Steelers over Cardinals


King: Colts over Saints

Actual: Giants over Patriots


King: Cowboys over Colts

Actual: Colts over Bears


King: Patriots over Vikings

Actual: Steelers over Seahawks


King: Broncos over Seahawks

Actual: Patriots over Eagles

During this time span, King picked one Super Bowl entrant correctly out of ten (Indy in 2006) but he did not predict that the Colts would win. That’s actually better than I thought he would do, but then again, I picked the Eagles and Steelers to make the Super Bowl last year and almost nailed it on the head, so there… *sticks tongue out*

Editor’s Note: To be fair, His Majesty and I (Benji) picked equally poorly last year—I had Green Bay and Indianapolis making it to the Super Bowl. Out of our four projected championship entrants, only the Colts even made the playoffs (and they lost in the first round).

King Says, Benji Says (Super Bowl Edition)

January 31, 2009


The outcome of the “real” Super Bowl has yet to be decided, but the winner of the King/Benji/Brian picking title has already been crowned. So what if I went 0-2 last week…the Super Bowl was already mine! Did you hear that, Your Majesty? The Super Bowl is ALL MINE! Unless you ask really nicely, in which case I might offer you and Brian some popcorn too…

Last Week:

Peter King (1-1)
Benji (0-2)
Brian (1-1)


Peter King (5-5)
Benji (7-3)
Brian (5-5)

Regular Season:

Peter King (162-93-1)
Benji (155-100-1)
Brian (166-89-1)

Pittsburgh Steelers (14-4) at Arizona Cardinals (12-7) (Neutral Site)

The King Says:

Why the Steelers will win: I see the Steelers not doing anything revolutionary on defense, just playing their base defense more than anyone does against the Cardinals. They’ll keep safeties Troy Polamalu and Ryan Clark back in two-deep coverage on most snaps and make the Cards take 12 or 13 plays to score. If Arizona can do that and win, then God bless ’em.

Don’t take it to the bank, but…I think Kurt Warner will play well, not give the ball away, and will have a chance to win it in the last 10 minutes. I just think Pittsburgh will make more plays on defense than any other team Arizona has seen in the playoffs.
The Super Bowl MVP will be… Willie Parker

Prediction: Pittsburgh Steelers 24, Arizona Cardinals 21

Benji Says:

The Steelers may win this game, Your Majesty, but there is no way in hell that Pittsburgh running back Willie Parker will be the MVP. Parker played well against the Chargers (a team with a terrible defense) but was awful (24 carries for 47 yards and a lost fumble) against the Ravens in the AFC Championship Game. I’m not sure if the Arizona pass defense is for real, but I know that the Cardinals can stop the run. The Pittsburgh offense will be almost solely in the (shaky) hands of quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. The real story in this game will be the match-up between Arizona’s passing game and Pittsburgh’s top-rated defense. If someone from Pittsburgh wins the Super Bowl MVP, it will likely be a defensive player. Otherwise, I expect it will be an offensive player from the Cardinals. My pick is wide receiver Anquan Boldin. The Steelers’ defense will focus on top wide-out Larry Fitzgerald (who has been brilliant in the first three rounds), leaving Boldin with a chance to perform on the big stage and earn a new contract in the off-season. As good as the Steelers’ defense is, much of its success is based on its perpetually changing pass-rushing schemes. The Cardinals have had two weeks to break down film and their coach, Ken Wisenhunt, was Pittsburgh’s offensive coordinator during its recent Super Bowl run and thus knows the ins and outs of defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau’s defense as well as the strengths and weaknesses of the Pittsburgh offense. The last time that these two teams met, back at the beginning of Wisenhunt’s tenure as the Arizona head coach, the result was a stunning victory for the then lowly Cardinals. Willie Parker’s stats in that game? 19 carries for 37 yards. I believe that history will repeat itself on Sunday night…

Prediction: Arizona Cardinals 23, Pittsburgh Steelers 16


Brian’s Turn:

I’m going with the Steelers, with Pittsburgh safety Troy Polamalu as Super Bowl MVP. I really don’t think the Cards are on the same level as the Steelers. Maybe the Cards will stay hot; maybe they’ll finally come crashing down. I will honestly root for the Cards though. I liked it when the 9ers were the first team to five Super Bowl victories and I don’t want the Steelers to be the first to six. Then again, the 9ers have never lost a Super Bowl, so they have that going for them. I wonder if I have to become a Giants fan now. . .