Michael Clayton?

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michael_clayton_movie_poster2

In today’s edition of Monday Morning Quarterback, The Monarch formerly known as Doofus loses yet again at the “naming players correctly” game. Observe his paragraph on the Baltimore Ravens in his Fine Fifteen section:

6. Baltimore (8-4). A hard, but relatively friendly, remaining schedule. Three of four at home. Washington and Pittsburgh at home, at Dallas on a short week (Saturday night), Jacksonville at home. I asked sudden star wide receiver Michael Clayton what kind of rivalry the Ravens had with foe number one — Washington, seeing that the District of Columbia is 38 miles down the road from Baltimore. “I’m not sure,” Clayton said. “I don’t know really. All I know is they’re our next game.” The Ravens, obviously, are burning with passion to face their hated Beltway cousins.

I hate to break it to you, Your Majesty, but George Clooney does not play for the Ravens. Neither does Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver Michael Clayton, a perpetual underachiever who has not gained as many as 400 receiving yards in a single season since his rookie year. Mark Clayton, the Baltimore Ravens receiver whom I believe you are referring to in your article, did have a career day (five catches for 164 yards) against the Bengals (the team with the second worst record in the league) but is he really a “sudden star”? In 2006, Mark Clayton had 67 receptions, 939 yards and five touchdowns. He is on pace to come up well short of those numbers this season—according to ESPN.com, his projected statistics are 37 catches, 633 yards and four touchdowns. Thanks for playing, Your Majesty. Better luck next time…

Update: As of 11 a.m., it appears that His Majesty (or some overworked intern who got a break from buffet-stocking duty) went back and edited the Clayton naming gaffe—which makes sense, I suppose, since the truth can be adjusted…

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