King Says, Benji Says (Thanksgiving Edition)

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rudolphsantapuppets

I know, I know, The King and I dressed up for the wrong holiday, but we are hardly the first Americans to start celebrating Christmas a little early. These costumes just seemed so much better suited to our current states of being than our fat pilgrim and Pocahontas outfits; my severe cold has left me with a nose red enough to make Rudolph point and laugh and exclude me from his reindeer games, and His Majesty is, um, an overweight, aging white dude. Anyway, on to our Thanksgiving picks…

Seattle Seahawks (2-9) at Dallas Cowboys (7-4)

The King says:

You know, I still think somewhere not so deep in the recesses of Jerry Jones’ mind, there’s a thought that goes something like this when he sees Mike Holmgren: That’s the man who’s going to coach my team someday.

Prediction: Dallas Cowboys 31, Seattle Seahawks 13

Benji says:

Your Majesty, you are not allowed to take a pick off just because it’s a holiday tomorrow—is it that hard to write a single sentence of constructive analysis that relates to the match-up at hand instead of this speculative statement about the future of the Dallas head coaching position? Well, I suppose I will have to do the honors then. Dallas looks like a team that is peaking at the right time, boosted by the return of quarterback Tony Romo, while Seattle’s offense has looked just as stagnant with Matt Hasselbeck running things as it did with Seneca Wallace as the starter.

Prediction: Dallas Cowboys 30, Seattle Seahawks 13

Tennessee Titans (10-1) at Detroit Lions (0-11)

The King says:

How’d you feel if you were Drew Stanton, the Lions’ second-round pick a year ago, a quarterback the team drafted to be the passer of the future? When Rod Marinelli wanted a solution at quarterback, he took Daunte Culpepper off his Orlando couch to play the position. And when Culpepper struggles mightily, Marinelli looks first not at Stanton, but at the first 6-foot-3 popcorn vendor he can see in the lower bowl at Ford Field. An 0-11 team apparently wants nothing to do with him. Humbled. That’s the word I’d use for the way Stanton must feel.

Prediction: Tennessee Titans 20, Detroit Lions 16

Benji says:

That’s more like it, Your Majesty. Your paragraph about the tumultuous quarterbacking situation in Detroit does an excellent job of illustrating why the Lions are 0-11 and have a real shot at a winless season. What an incompetent organization. Is it any surprise that the people in charge of the team are the same people who have run a once immensely successful automobile company (Ford Motors) into the ground? Perhaps Congress should take into consideration the considerable number of “bail-out” high first and second round picks the Lions have completely wasted over the past decade before it does anything foolish?

Prediction: Tennessee Titans 27, Detroit Lions 13

Arizona Cardinals (7-4) at Philadelphia Eagles (5-5)

The King says:

Turkey Day Game of the Day. Too bad America’s going to be all tryptophaned-out and sleeping through half of it. I can’t blame the Cardinals for cat-napping here either. Do you realize they were due to report to work for a compressed day in Tempe on Wednesday at 6 a.m., and after meetings and practice, were to get on a plane for the 2,300-miles trip to Philly … and then meet some more when they got to the hotel?

Prediction: Philadelphia Eagles 24, Arizona Cardinals 23

Benji says:

I know one thing for sure, Your Majesty—there’s no way you’ll be able to stay awake for the duration of this game after you polish off an entire turkey by yourself. The Cardinals’ offense looks really good right now, but the Eagles are desperate for a win and will surely put forth their best effort in quite some time, both offensively and defensively. The desperation formula has failed me during my picks for the last two weeks but I’m applying it again here. I was also not very impressed with Arizona’s kickoff coverage in its loss to the Giants last Sunday. How can the Cardinals expect to beat a good team if they let it start every offensive possession on the Arizona side of the field?

Prediction: Philadelphia Eagles 23, Arizona Cardinals 20

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